Unwanted visitors....

We have rats living in our garden!

They're sort of cute when viewed at a distance from behind the safety of my double glazed patio doors, but as our garden is fairly small, having a rat living under the compost bin at the bottom of the garden is a little too close for comfort! Not to mention the one who payed a visit to my kitchen yesterday, thankfully it scarpered fairly quickly, but all the same, no-one wants a rat in their house do they?

I shall be instructing Gadget Man when he gets home that he needs to get rid of the compost bin asap, although I'm not sure what we'll do with the contents as a good proportion of it is just rotten veggies rather than proper compost! I really hope there's not a nest with babies in it, as I shall be in a proper quandry about the morality of uprooting babies from their nests, who afterall, didn't choose to be rats, or living in my compost bin!

However, having watched one rat zoom the length of our garden a number of times today, I'm feeling a bit less kindly towards them and just want my garden back!

Things you should be told before you get pregnant...

I'm now 14 weeks pregnant, and the reality of pregnancy is starting to kick in and I'm remembering (and reliving) all those delightful side-effects of pregnancy which no-one tells you about! Here are a few things you should know...

Firstly, it is not just your womb that is pregnant, despite what Hollywood and most celebrities would have you believe, your pregnant self is not you + a lovely round tummy. Every single bit of your body does weird and wonderful things during pregnancy, some can be explained, some of it, quite frankly, is just Mother Nature taking the piss.

A, your skin - it might be glowing, it might be greasy and covered in spots. You might get weird dark patches of pigmentation, it might get dry, you might sweat way more than normal. Most of this is down to hormones, the sweating thing is down to carrying a hot water bottle in your stomach.

B, your internal organs - they'll get squashed. With Moobles, by the time she was nearly cooked I was regularly being sick when I ate because there was just no room for the food anymore. Heartburn is a fun one, mainly due to your stomach being squished, but also, the hormones which work to relax your muscles, do a grand job of relaxing the muscle at the top of your stomach too, allowing it's contents to creep back out. The sickness is also fun, it's not guaranteed, but most women get some kind of Morning Sickness, some lucky ladies even get Hyperemesis which means they're puking pretty much 24/7 and can require IV meds and hospitalisation.

C, your bum - piles, constipation, the runs, needing to pee every 5 minutes, incontinence. All common pregnancy side-effects, none of them are much fun. Most of them you can do something about though, so don't suffer in silence!

D, your skeleton - the hormones chugging about your system relax not only your muscles, but the ligaments too, and your whole body actually gets wider to accommodate a growing baby and facilitate it's exit. This means your clothes won't fit, you'll need new bras and if you're unlucky (like me) some bits will take this a bit far and it can get quite painful. I've had PGP in all three pregnancies, which basically means the joint at the front of my pelvis is too wide, and it's inflamed which means my pelvis wiggles rather than being stable - it hurts, and last time led to me hobbling around on crutches.

E, your boobs - in preparation for breastfeeding, your boobs grow. marvellous you might think, but wait, they also get super sensitive and sore, so you'll probably want to operate a "look but don't touch" policy with your other half. They also might start leaking colostrum, or they might not, or one will leak more than the other. It's all normal, and none of it will have any bearing on how successful you'll be at breastfeeding, you might want to stock up on breastpads now though, and don't buy the cheap ones, you'll regret it when you're trying to disguise the circular shape showing through your clothes. I liked the Tommee Tippee Closer to nature ones personally.

F, your ladygarden - you'll be more prone to thrush, you might get varicose veins in delicate areas (yes really, but these resolve post-childbirth) you might completely go off sex, or you might want to jump your partner at every opportunity. And, most importantly, you'll soon be unable to see it! I'm reliably informed that midwives couldn't care less whether your garden is neatly trimmed or not, so don't panic on that account.

G, your mind - yes, pregnancy messes with your brain too. This can range from bizarre and vivid dreams, to being a bit over-emotional and highly strung and can even reach the point of ante-natal depression. Being a bit emotional is one thing, but if you're seriously down and miserable, please talk to someone about it, there is help out there and no-one will judge you as a bad mother or just being "a bit hormonal".

By no means does everyone get all, or even most of these, but if you're pregnant, and it's not the rosy, glowy, fun time you thought it was going to be, you're not alone! And if you're not pregnant, I hope I haven't put you off too much, this isn't meant to be a pregnancy horror story, just a little dose of reality to counteract all those OK! magazine shoots with slim, happy-to-be-pregnant celebs!

And if you're reading this and think I've missed some stuff out, feel free to comment and add your wisdom!

Heart over head....

I'm delighted to share some really exciting news with you (all two of you!), come October, there's going to be another Velcro Baby joining our family!

Apparently the teeniest Velcro Baby is due at the beginning of October, I'm not telling anyone the actual date because a, both previous arrivals have been a week or so late and b, I'm hoping to avoid all those "Any news?" texts/phonecalls/conversations which make me want to poke the questioner (who I'm sure is just well meaning and interested) in the eye.

We're expecting a few raised eyebrows over the arrival of this baby, on paper, this was probably not a sensible decision, but, I'm rarely sensible and anyway, who wants to live their life on paper? We live in a small house, we don't have a lot of money and we already have two young children. But ultimately, we knew we'd be far more likely to look back with regret on a life lived with a bit more room and a bit more money, than a life stuffed with children and love.

A lovely German friend assures me it's very common on the Continent to have millions of kids in small houses and just stuff them into corners and bunkbeds and such like, so we came over all European and threw caution to the wind.

Actually, I don't think we'll have to compromise on much, generally our kids stay in our room for quite a while anyway so I'm not too worried about not having a spare room for this baby. We also have a loft stuffed with clothes, reuseable nappies, toys, a cot, a buggy and millions of maternity clothes, so we shouldn't have to buy much, and breastfeeding was still free last time Ichecked.

I'm contemplating the idea of Tandem Feeding, as Velcro Boy is still enthusiastically breast-feeding and, if I'm honest, to satisfy my rebellious desire to do something REALLY controversial and out there! I fed Moobles until I was 6 months pregnant with VB, and if I'm honest, I'd really had enough by then and was knackered, with a little encouragement she was happy to stop. We'll see how things pan out this time, October is still a long way off I guess.

Happy Birthday to my lovely sister in law!

My lovely sister-in-law turned 30 yesterday. She's only a year older than me, and is already making me feel a bit better about the big 3 0!

I'd like to say a public HAPPY BIRTHDAY to her, she's a fabulous sister in law, aunty and friend who always puts others before herself and is one of the most beautiful people I know, both inside and out. She knows how to make others feel special, and I hope she knows just how special she is too.

This is her with my lovely husband and a very small Velcro Boy...

You live and learn

Spurred on by the (brief) spell of nice weather we've been out and about lots in the last few days and have learnt lots of things on our travels.

Moobles has learned how to scan shopping through the self-service till at the shop, she likes finding the barcodes and making the machine beep. She's been looking for barcodes on her books and toys, and I fear I may have to do a bit of research into exactly how a barcode is made and what it's for if Moobles current line of questioning is anything to go by!

Velcro Boy has learnt that if you cry "help! help! help!" repeatedly someone will come and rescue you while you're hanging precariously from the edge of your (tall) chest of drawers. Sadly, what VB hasn't learnt is that if you got stuck trying to climb down your chest of drawers from the top bunk the first five or six times, the chances are you're going to carry on getting stuck and should probably give up this dangerous occupation until your legs grow or there is someone in the room to airlift you off.

Gadget Man has learnt that he can move rather quickly when he hears VB shout "help! help! help!". So far he's had to jump out of the shower to rescue him and has managed to go from fast asleep to rescue mode in less than 3 seconds.

I have learnt that I really should aim lower when it comes to birthday cakes. We had a little family party for VB on Saturday and as tradition demands, I made him a cake. The last cake I attempted was meant to be the Mad Hatter's top hat, it tasted alright, but looked, um, dodgy. And Moobles is still bemoaning the fact that it didn't have Alice sitting on top of it almost a year on. So I decided to make Nigella's Devil's Food cake, figuring that if it looked awful, at least it would taste alright.

In order to make it a bit more VB friendly, I decided to make a marzipan Mike Wazowski, I really should know better! It turned out alright after a lot of swearing and "help" from small people. But much of the kitchen was coated in green food colouring, including Moobles who was attempting her own marzipan creation. VB also took the opportunity to cover the front room in cornflour, which was brilliant, because I didn't already have a tonne of things to do! Next year, I'm going to try and convince myself to just buy a plastic toy to go on top or maybe just buy a cake, it's got to be easier than making one!

Two years ago, I looked like this....

It was 10.30pm and were just about to leave to go to the hospital, I don't think either of us realised Velcro Boy would be making his appearance 90 minutes later, at 00.07am!

His birth was quick and intense, and it took a while for the midwives to believe he was about to arrive. But arrive he did, with very little effort on my part thankfully and he's been a constant joy and essential part of our little family ever since.

Happy Birthday for tomorrow gorgeous boy x x x

There are many ways of being a good mother....

"There are many, many ways of being a good mother. Your way may not be the same as your neighbour's, your sister's or the baby-writer's." Libby Purves

Do you know the single most important thing becoming a mother has taught me? That I don't have all the answers, and, if I don't know what to do with my own kids, I most certainly haven't a clue about anyone else's.

It is so, so easy to be judgemental, it's even rather fun at times. But it's so easy to point the finger and suggest solutions when actually we have no idea what is really going on. We don't know that mother or that child, we have no idea what they've been through, even in the 10 minutes before we started observing them and we have no idea what they'll do once out of our sight.

Velcro Boy threw an almighty tantrum in the doctor's waiting room the other day, I hadn't taken the buggy and he wasn't wearing shoes so he needed to go back in the sling, he disagreed, loudly, for 15 minutes.

15 minutes is a long time when you're sitting on the floor in front of 20 or so onlookers, several of whom were tutting loudly, gasping when VB threw himself on the floor, mentioning buggies and rods in backs etc. etc. I sat with Velcro Boy in my lap as he sobbed and sobbed, broken hearted at being stopped from dashing straight into a busy road and ignored the "wise words" being directed at me. Eventually I suggested we go and buy an apple, and the crying subsided a bit, enough for me to quickly secure him in the sling and beat a hasty retreat anyway! He got an apple from Tesco and carried it carefully all the way home, he'd stopped crying once we were outside anyway but being in the sling meant we could have a cuddle and forget all the sadness. I've no doubt plenty of those onlookers had their own opinions about what I should have done or not done, but frankly, I don't care. He's my lovely, screamy boy and I'll do what I think it is best.

Pre-children, I had so many pre-conceptions about the kind of mother I'd be and what my children would be like. I had romantic notions of sitting in parks reading long novels as my rosy-cheeked baby gurgled contentedly in it's carrycot, and I was going to make jam, lots of it, while my baby dozed happily in it's crib during the day (which I'd forced my mum to hand-paint exactly the right shade of pink, convinced we'd be using it ALL THE TIME - sorry mum!) and I wasn't going to be dictated to by my baby, I was going to sail through the baby days, all perfect make up and smiles.

What actually happened was that when Moobles arrived she was everything we'd dreamed of, the most beautiful, delicate baby anyone had ever seen (honestly!). And she had reflux. She was sick constantly, I had to take at least two changes of clothes for both of us everywhere for about the first year of her life. Forget make-up, I counted myself lucky if I couldn't see the crispy bits in my hair where she'd puked in it. She needed to be upright almost all the time, so spent much of her time in a sling, or on me. She slept in our bed or in my arms and if she cried I comforted her, if she needed feeding I fed her (about every 30 minutes or so for the first few months) and we bumbled along like that. No jam. No books. Definately no make up. It was great, it was not what I'd imagined, but it's what it took to get us all through that first puke-filled year and it worked for our family.

So now, when I see parents dealing with a screaming toddler, I smile and am grateful that today, it's not me! And when I hear expectant parents talk about Moses baskets and cribs I nod, cross my fingers for them and casually mention they might want to check out the co-sleeping guidelines "just in case".

If people ask for my opinion, I give it, and if they give me their opinion on my parenting they'll most certainly get my full reasoning, complete with research and long-winded explanation and probably wish they'd never bothered!

Honestly, life is just to short to worry about what everyone else is doing with their kids. I'm going to carry on doing what works for my family, and if, or when it stops working, I'll do something else!